Forgive my writing skills in this… I was just so excited to share this experience with you, that I just had to get it all out this morning as soon as possible. No time to re-write or edit… I just felt led by the spirit to share this with all of you right away.
Today at work, as I was listening to YouTube, and another video came on auto-play, (that I did not realize because I was busy doing my work)… but all of a sudden I heard him say something about FEAR… and he got my attention.
I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. In my adult life, it has mostly been about money. I get this absolutely awful feeling in my stomach, like knots, twisting and writhing; I almost feel sick… and sweaty and head-achy, and that “flight or fight” response kicks in and I panic. This feeling comes over me every time I have to pay bills, or save up for something, or have to make an unexpected big purchase (like car repairs), because I know that we will never get ahead. We don’t have any savings, and it seems impossible to get to the point where we DO have savings. Just paying the regular monthly bills would send me into an anxious state. It has been a horrible thing to go through.
About a year ago, I decided I had had enough of this. I prayed REALLY HARD about it and asked God to deliver me from this. It seemed to work. I was able to pay the monthly bills without feeling anxious – TOTAL BLESSING RIGHT THERE! – and I became a little better at budgeting our money so we weren’t in the negative all the time.
Recently though, this anxious feeling has started to creep back in. Last month I had a HORRIBLE time with it… everyday it would nag me and eat away at me… it never stopped for days. I wondered “what is going on here? I thought I resolved this through prayer already?” I was very confused and worried about it, and the worrying WHY it was back just added to the actual worry I felt about the money! Lovely.
Well, this video I happened upon yesterday (purely by chance, which makes this so awesome – thank you Lord) completely got my attention, and made me realize what this actually is!
I came to realize that this anxious feeling about money, is actually a demon of fear! It made perfect sense to me. At 6:30 in the video he talks about how demons harass you, it is one of their jobs… and at 6:45 in the video, he mentions one of the ways they harass you… with fear! I can’t tell you what this meant to me. It was like a revelation. I believe the Lord presented this video to me specifically to reveal what has been afflicting me so that I can properly deal with it. I hadn’t been looking this up; I hadn’t searched anything on this; I had been listening to The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on YouTube while I was working, (I’m allowed to have 1 earbud in while at work), and this video came on auto-play after the soundtrack ended! One has nothing at all to do with the other! That is how the Lord works my friends. He knew what I needed, and He knew that I needed to know this to be delivered. HALLELUJAH!
This video made so much sense to me. It made me realize, and recognize other demons at work in my life and the lives of my family. Once you know what you’re facing, you can deal with it more effectively. That is the goal. To be truly freed and draw closer to God and Jesus.
I hope everyone finds this video helpful.
God Bless.
Lift Your Gaze 